Pink Gradient

Can I?

By Menna Migbar

You enter a room and watch the slow progression of the art stock on the bright vibrant wall. You are just starting to brainstorm for your project looking at art pieces, yet your eyes start itching and you find your hands placed on your forehead, worried. Although the color painting, carefully crafted sculpture, and drawing looked intriguing they exhibited high standards.
An artist, you thought you were, now you feel bare, bare with no absolute knowledge about art itself. As you feel a weight on your shoulder, you can’t help but wonder what your brain looks like compared to the attractive and inspiring room you are in, clear with paintings of vibrant orange and peach. The high windows in the room had been disguised by silky curtains flattering the displays of the massive, colorful supply shelf. You start to question your presence in the room, “Do I belong here”, you start. “Can I do this”, you continue. Without knowing it second-guessing yourself crashes your motivation and your feelings crumble into words among the rest of your over exasperating thoughts...

Light, pleasant, and free
That is exactly how I want it to be
Clear, unsophisticated
I want it unweighted
I want to open my eyes and gaze brightly
I want to bravely hear the droplets of water and the startling loud sounds instead of twisty thoughts.
I want to observe the tiniest detail and create untouched yet visible artistry out of it.
But my mind follows a different path.
Thunder falls with its blistering sounds, and it signals danger
Thoughts I push so hard fall like rain
I sit and feel the rain harmonizing into a puddle
The puddle into a river
The river which then takes control

But who knows?
When the fear of failure
Crimples in me
To the point where I backup from the art competition I’ve always dreamt off
To the point where I don’t make the call
I will eventually get to the day where I see
I haven’t lived at all
But who knows?
If I try today,
If I try tomorrow
The time I spend in trying, the experience will win
I gotta dry my tears and brush my hands
For if I try it often, somebody I will surely win.